On The Road / by Joseph Donzis

  I'm in Texas for my sister's wedding and will be arriving around with family and friends for a while longer. I will be back soon with more and better pictures! Until then, I'll share the speech I read at my sister's rehearsal dinner.


Sarah, we’ve known you our whole lives and you’ve really been like a sister to us.  Throughout the years, you’ve given us so many fun, funny, enraging, sibling moments that have helped shape who we are today.  From the very beginning, you’ve always been there to help guide us and lead us.  Heck, when we created the Kids Klub, where you went on to lead us when you made yourself president.  The fact that we even decided to have some sort of sibling updates at a meeting shows just how much you cared for us, although we quickly realized that all three of us living in the same hallway kept us updated enough; and thus our club was quickly relegated to secret meetings about birthdays and anniversaries.  We had president Sarah (She was the oldest and wisest, so she was our fearless leader), Elissa was vp and treasurer (The one with the most money should obviously be in charge of finances), and Joey was Secretary until proven that he couldn’t write clearly enough to keep minutes and I never paid attention long enough to really advance the conversation (at which point he was demoted to citizen).  I believe Sarah and I once had a meeting to plan for Elissa’s birthday, but Sarah quickly realized she was pretty much just discussing her own ideas out loud and I was having a different conversation.

Sarah was such a great leader because she was sure to always reward good behavior and punish bad behavior.  One day when baby Elissa was sleeping, Sarah noted that this was indeed good behavior, so she coated Elissa in stickers.  All good deeds should be rewarded, and if the president of our country could learn anything from the president of the Kids Klub, it’s that stickers are a great way to let other people know who within your cabinet has been a good boy or girl.  Of course, what kind of sister would Elissa be if she didn’t return the favor?  One day, out of the kindness of her heart, Elissa decided to put a little bit of Sarah’s favorite thing into her cup of Tang.  Sarah’s favorite color was pink, so obviously the only missing ingredient from the Tang was calamine lotion.  Sarah got to try two new things that day: lotion and ipecac.

While Elissa was receiving stickers for good behavior, I was busy racking up demerits.  One day while Sarah was conducting important business on the phone, I realized the need to interrupt her with an important update.  Ok, actually, she was talking to her boyfriend on the phone while laying on the couch, and I decided to pester her asking who it was and making kissing sounds.  As I continued to annoy Sarah, she threatened to kick me in the face.  Let me take a moment here to assure you, Sarah is a very honest and trustworthy person; she always arrives when she says she will, and you can always count on her to know better than you the exact details of any story.  And when she says she’s going to kick you in the face, she makes good on that promise.  I continued making kissing noises and saying whatever nonsense popped into my head when I suddenly received a swift foot in my face.  That day, I gained as much knowledge about annoying sisters as I did about how easy it is to lose teeth.

Now, being kicked in the face wasn’t the only time one of us lost a tooth; we all managed to assist in tooth-removal at one point or another.  This was good news for us because it used to hurt so darn bad when our dad would pull our teeth out, but when we’d knock each other’s teeth out, the pain of being smashed in the mouth by a foot or ladder or any other object was so much more painful, we barely noticed how much it hurt for the tooth itself to come out.  Don’t worry, not all the stories of our childhood were violent.  We also had some adventure!  Being the oldest, Sarah was the first of us to learn how to drive.  After proudly gaining her license, Sarah was going to drive Elissa to clarinet lessons and I got to go along for the ride, and what a ride it was!  After taking a quick right turn followed by a left turn better suited for a Jason Statham movie, the three of us found ourselves facing traffic on the grass next to the road in a 1986 Crown Victoria.  Of course, all of us were quite panicked because when Dad spins the car around, it’s fun; when Sarah does it, it’s an accident and it’s scary.  While the three of us were frantically trying to figure out how to get the car back on the road and facing the right direction, someone suggested calling our father.  What none of us had realized was that during all the commotion, the phone had managed to dial our dad already, who was on his way because he’d heard our whole conversation.  It was practically magic to us when our father arrived and got us out of that situation, but it was also another lesson taught to us by Sarah: don’t try hiding things from Dad, he’ll always find out.  Also, go easy on the accelerator in old cars, they really weren’t made as well as past generation like to believe.

But onto modern times.  More recently, Sarah has shown us the value of doing what makes you happy.  As loving and caring siblings, we have always tried to do what was best for each other and each other's happiness has always been a priority.  This is why we could not be more happy for Sarah that she found David.  He has been able to bring her joy in ways we've never seen before and provided for her what we never could. With David, she has traveled both near and far, learning to appreciate new places and cultures; she has moved to New York City where she thrives and gets to have new adventures all the time; and now, she gets to have a dream wedding to a dream man.  We know we do not need to caution David to take care of Sarah, he already does that so well; we don't need to tell him all the chaos he's about to marry into, he's seen us at our craziest and accepts us all for who we are.  No, we are now here to tell Sarah how much we love you and how happy we are for you as we bear witness to this incredible union.


  Love you, Sarah and David. Have a wonderful honeymoon and I look forward to spending the rest of our lives with you two as a married couple.